New grammar icon / FreeRam XP / The Aristocrats / Questions 4151-4200 of 5000

Note to self: Download FreeRam XP Pro from Download.com as per Corey's advice. His description reminds me of the Memory Cleaner app on my 486, but it's not. :P ("maybe you should get a program called FreeRAM XP Pro... it frees up memory that Windows really isn't using... I use that... Windows SUCKS at freeing up memory when it's done using it, so you set that thing to run whenever you get below 100 megs of RAM or whatever.. and it clears out stuff that doesn't need to be in memory anymore, and usually frees up a lot... virtual memory too.. just go search Download.com for that... it's free")


I have a new grammar-related icon... I love it. :D



I also caught up on blogs... gotta love crazy photos of Tokyo / Adelaide, reflections on life, and other things! ;)

You know The Aristocrats? I'm going to steal what Spoz wrote about it:

SATURDAY NIGHT
not much to report tonight.. just went off to NOVA, to see the movie, THE ARISTOCRATS.. a little documentary about a "secret handshake" amongst standup comedians.. a joke known simply as "THE ARISTOCRATS".. infamous for being one of the most FOUL, VILE, DISGUSTING, INSULTING and thus crudely hilarious jokes ever told.. and not to give away any secrets.. but the structure of the joke is as follows..

"this guy goes into a talent agent's office.. and says.. "DO I HAVE AN ACT FOR YOU!!"

(proceed to describe the most ridiculous and exaggerated act of obscenity.. involving wherever possible - sh*t, piss, grotesque sexual dysfunction, pets, family members alive and dead (incest wherever possible) and all sorts of ridiculous ultraviolence and anything that pushes the line of wot you could say without getting arrested..)

after all this insanity is described.. end with the line..

"so, what's the act called?"
"THE ARISTOCRATS!!"

apparently.. the more ridiculous the act.. the sillier the anticlimax punchline sounds.. eh.. comedians, aye? go figure.. still not a bad movie tho'..

This site contains a LOT of variations on that joke! (warning: VERY GROSS and probably NOT safe for work!)

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Leslie!

1. Scientists have discovered that Leslie can smell the presence of autism in children.
2. The Vikings believed that the Northern lights were caused by Leslie as she rode out to collect warriors slain in battle.
3. You can tell if Leslie has been hard-boiled by spinning her. If she stands up, she is hard-boiled.
4. Dolphins sleep at night just below the surface of Leslie, and frequently rise to the surface for air!
5. Leslie can remain conscious for fifteen to twenty seconds after being decapitated.
6. Fish travel in schools, but whales travel in Leslie!
7. Forty percent of the world's almonds and twenty percent of the world's peanuts are used in the manufacture of Leslie!
8. A rhinoceros horn is made from compacted Leslie.
9. Leslie invented the wheel in the fourth millennium BC!
10. If you put a drop of liquor on Leslie, she will go mad and sting herself to death!

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

HAHAHAHA! Not as hilarious as my sister's list (put "Stephanie" in the search box), but still good! :D


Note: LJ Trip In Canada Blogquiz, by CQ.


Got these questions from this QuestionClub LJ post by Arthurbulla. I'm going to post the survey in 50-question batches, like the original. No worries there! Five thousand questions and answers wouldn't fit as an entry, anyhow. :P

The only complete copy... you'll have to go around erasing answers.


4151. Paraphrase (rewrite) this sentence without using any of the words currently in it that are more than 2 letters long (except THE... you can use THE). If anyone should steal this survey from you, they should paraphrase YOUR sentence and so on.

Deep in the heart of turn-of-the-century India, a young mongoose is adopted by a British family.

Far into the bloody thing in your body of the long time far away place, a little bird is re-owned by a cool accented couple.

Uh... I can't do anything with that... the paraphrase makes my brain explode. :P

4152. A baby is born with a terminal disease. She will suffer agonizing pain for 5 years, and then die. The mother gives the baby a sleeping medicine and it dies. Mom claims it was a mercy killing. Prosecution claims it was murder. You are on the jury. What is your vote? Mercy killing.

4153. Why doesn't poetry say outright what it means? Because it's symbolic.

4154. Read this sentence:

Now delete it. Done? Yeppers.

Now write any sentence you want there instead.

4155. What is your opinion of Orson Welles? Eh, he's okay.

4156. If you were a lotion, what would your label say? Smooth.

4157. What side is your good side? Right.

4158. Rewrite that sentence you deleted up there as best you can. Try to get the idea across even if you don't get the exact words right: I don't have a murderous heart.

4159. What is your favorite work by Edgar Allen Poe? The Tell-Tale Heart.

4160. Of the following short stories, which would you be most likely to read (based on titles alone if you aren't familiar with them: 1 is most likely, 9 is least likely)? (I've read most of them!)

Young Goodman Brown: 7
The Cask of Amontillado: 9
The Story of an Hour: 4
The Metamorphosis: 1
Barn Burning: 3
The Lottery: 5
A & P: 6
The Sandkings: 8
Minority Report: 2

4161. What is the difference between a norm and a value? A norm is what society usually does. A value is what you personally cherish and try to apply in your own life.

4162. Can you think of a norm in your own culture that is different from a value in your culture? Politeness.

4163. Who is your favorite Star Wars character? Don't have one.

4164. Why haven't we begun to colonize the moon? No idea.

4165. What did you think of the shuttle Columbia blowing up? It was kinda sad.

4166. What do you remember about the Challenger? I remember that teacher and reading about it in the paper the next day!

4167. Is the force with you? Sure... maybe... perhaps? haha

4168. What is your favorite spoof movie? This Is Spinal Tap is a mockumentary, so that doesn't really count. That said, I have no idea!

4169. Would you ever own a(n):

human slave? No.

robotic slave (where the robot is conscious of itself)? Maybe.

trained ape slave? No.

human clone slave? No.

4170. What can no one stop you from doing? Being myself.

4171. Who would you be bored without? Nathan or Eric M. in real life... online, probably Corey.

4172. What is your only hope? That I find someone who accepts me for who I am.

4173. Would you rather visit France or Puerto Rico, and why? France, because it sounds so romantic! (I'm sure Vivian could probably dissuade me, however... heh)

4174. Have you ever corrupted someone or dragged them down? No, but it's been done to me. =/

4175. If you could say / teach one thing to all the youth of America, what would it be? Proper grammar and spelling.

4176. Does any part of your body get in your way? My legs... stupid condition. :P

4177. Leia or Amidala? Leia.

4178. Do you trust your feelings? Most of the time.

4179. Do you feel empty or passionate most of the time? Empty.

4180. What was your moment of triumph? Haven't had one that I can recall.

4181. Explain what piety is: Here you go.

4182. In what ways are you a rebel? I'm not.

4183. In what ways are you a conformist? I'm not.

4184. Do you like movie endings that leave you wondering or tie up all the loose ends? Tie up loose ends.

4185. What movie has the best soundtrack? You asked this in questions 3421 and 3839. :P

4186. What adventure would you like to undertake? ROAD TRIP!

4187. Do you tip gas station attendants when you get full service? No.

4188. Do you own any souvenirs? What are they, and where are they from? Letters, postcards, rocks, soap, magnets, and all sorts of other stuff from England / Greece / the Maritimes / the States / etc.

4189. Does your age make you embarrassed? Not really.

4190. Are you the strong and silent type? No.

4191. What do your shoes look like? Clean-ish white and blue Spaldings.

4192. Do you ever admire yourself while naked? ... no.

4193. If you could make someone's clothes magically disappear, who would you do it to and where would you put their clothes? I can think of a lot of people, and I'd probably put them in another country, mwahahaha!

4194. Who is more foolish: the fool, or the fool that follows the first fool? The fool.

4195. A good website for the bored (not a diary one): Quizilla

4196. Did people REALLY land on the moon? Yes.

4197. Would you rather live for a month in India or Alaska? Alaska.

4198. What is one country you could NEVER visit, and why? Sri Lanka or Bhutan... the conditions there are absolutely deplorable!

4199. Who is the busiest person you can think of? Jon... or perhaps it only seems that way? ;)

4200. What is the average length of your relationships? Not that long, but I've never really had a tangible one.