Birthday cards, Bathroom Readers, weird conversations

1. I need to get Jessica's birthday card, and Nathan's Bathroom Reader.
2. Everyone tells me that I have a way with words. I don't see it.
3. I should remember to take the bus tomorrow to Awana.

Two excerpts from family conversations:

1. On the cruise ship, at lunch / dinner one night:

Mom: Single people are too set in their ways. When something isn't to their liking, they're not used to it since they can cater to themselves.
Steph: Mom, single people are like that.
Mom: Your sister has lived by herself for too long. She has to learn to socialize with people, especially church friends.
Me, in head: Uh... I have not done any such thing! I do so know how to talk to people, even if I'm not the best at it!
Steph: Yeah, I think she needs MORE FAMILY TIME! That would be GREAT!
Me: Um.... o_O
Steph: Don't you just love being surrounded by your LOVING FAMILY?!
Me: Um... erm...


2. Just now, on the phone to my mother:

Mom: You know, I was talking to your brother this morning. What do you think about ******?
Me: What do you mean?
Mom: You know. You have to pray for your future husband. He's a nice guy!
Me: Yeah, but it doesn't mean I like him that way.
Mom: Why not? I think you should get together with him!
Me: I don't like everyone in that way. (I'd pity the male population of the Vancouver area if I did!)
Mom: Well, maybe we can make something happen! Now that your Mark is gone... you should have asked him out!
Me: Mark was never mine in the first place! o_O Why are you talking to Jon about this?
Mom: He's your BROTHER! That's okay!
Me: It's my PRIVATE LIFE, Mom!
Mom: Well, we can be the CARING COMMITTEE! That should be your #1 priority!
Me, in head: I wasn't aware that the #1 priority of single Christian women was to find a husband...
Mom: By the way, have you seen that guy anymore?
Me: We only got back a few days ago. When would I have time to do that?
Mom: I don't know. You have lots of free time! But you shouldn't do that.. don't sleep over at his house anymore, or ask him to come over to yours. Just hang out with him!
Me, in head: But that's what we'd do as friends! You wouldn't care as much if I did that with church people!
Me: We'll see what happens.
Mom: By the way, your brother and sister are going to some hockey game with church people tomorrow at 8. You should go after Awana, too. Just bring a book... watching them can be fun!
Me, in head: But what if I'm bored?!
Me: Uh, I don't know about that. We'll see.
Mom: You need to learn to talk to people outside of the Internet. Christian people are good!
Me: There are plenty of Christian people on the Internet, Mom.
Mom: How do you know?!
Me: Trust me, I do. *diverts conversation to other topics, and thinks that I know better than she does in this instance!*