Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Vegas 2012: escalaphobia, weddings, and new friends!

This is in email form because I intend on emailing this to Eric, and I have no energy to rewrite it as a blog post!



Hey, Eric! I said I'd tell you about the trip, so here goes! This will be a long one, so feel free to split up reading it! If this sounds really disjointed, I'm really out of it right now as I think I caught something right when I got back - go figure!

Tuesday, May 29: Before we left for Vegas, my parents and I went to the hospital to help with baby Ayler because Jon and Harmony REALLY needed sleep! I got to hold the baby for about an hour or more - he's so cute! You need to see Ayler at some point! When we got to YVR, we discovered that the flight was delayed for about half an hour; good thing I had my books to keep me company! Lisa and Steph met us at the Imperial Palace hotel (MacCarran airport has slot machines - everyone seems to smoke in Vegas), where we discovered that the pre-paid room was booked in MY name! HAHAHAHA! Of course, my mom made a fuss about it, saying that it should be in HER name; the poor front desk clerk said that WestJet picked a random name from the passports. At the hotel room, we all talked about the bus route and schedules, since walking anywhere along the Strip would take FOREVER. Then I had to share a hotel room with my parents - oh well. Close quarters make for bad bedfellows, that's for sure! (especially since I don't LOVE being with my parents for an extended amount of time)


Wednesday, May 30: All the signs are in English and Spanish, and it's strange to me since I'm used to seeing directions / instructions in English and French. I noticed the "HOT BABES" advertising right away - my friend Jess had told me that they hand out cards for that right on the Strip, but I didn't want to take one in case airport security saw it in the X-rays, haha. My mom saw a coupon for a "free" T-shirt, so said that I should go stand in line for it. There were a lot of people in line for THE PRICE IS RIGHT, so I waited for at least an hour. When I got to the front, the guy said that I actually had to buy tickets to the show first BEFORE I got the T-shirt. However, he was nice and gave me one anyway. I noticed that redrum started AGAIN, and thought I should have taken hormones! (too much info, I know - but I trust you a lot... you know how it is with your sickness!)

Later, some woman asked where we were from, and then my parents were enticed by the free breakfast / free buffet tickets / free show tickets which went along with the WyndMark condo "scam" offer on Friday morning. We went to Wal-Mart later to pick up some basic supplies like oatmeal and cereal (as well as a McDonalds dinner), and then had to wait an HOUR for the bus! I got a bunch of postcards for myself, you, Jeremy, my friends Corey / Siobhan / Chrystal, and others... plus three $5 handbags. A bus did pass us by because there was only one lane of traffic, according to a road worker. The guy who was waiting with us called it "bullshit." I agreed, even though Dad called that "foul language" later - I guess it's a good thing he didn't know how much I wanted to swear at some things!


Thursday, May 31: My parents went to the Grand Canyon all day, which necessitated a wakeup call at 5:15 AM. I discovered the Apple Store at the Forum Mall, so I was able to check my email and Facebook on an iPad, swiping and using the on-screen keyboard as I went. (a MacBook Air proved to be too much for me :P) The "outside" ceiling was pretty nice, since it was like you were walking around in Rome! Lots of escalators, which I wouldn't want to take! There were plenty of fountains and statues, so that was cool. When I checked Facebook, I found that my intuition was sadly right: someone whom I liked (in Texas) was in a brand new relationship. He's an agent of betrayal and a perfidious blackguard, to boot! (Now James and I are talking about it on YM - he's trying to convince me that it's just one of life's changes since he was tired of being depressed, and all Rachael had to do was say "yes" if she wanted him, despite her not wanting him in April or May. I should have told him more clearly how I felt before I left. He is trying to make me believe that he didn't intend on being in a relationship when I left, but is committed when he's in one; good for her, but I can't help but think what's wrong with ME! At least YOU have never hurt me in that way!)

Steph and Lisa treated me to a dinner at the Main St. Station buffet; after taking the bus there (WE SAW ELVIS!), we went down the Fremont Street Experience beforehand, and went to Walgreens since Lisa's eczema was acting up. It was nice to meet a bunch of Lisa's family: her nephews Lucas (10 - with autism) and Liam (3), Grandma Joan, stepmom Sandy (whom Dad thinks he doesn't have to care for since she wore spaghetti straps - IT WAS 37 FREAKING DEGREES OUTSIDE! WHATEVER!), dad Mike, aunt Liz, mom Ruth (who's a bit of a control freak and stresses poor Lisa out), cousins Heather and Lindsay, brother Brad and his girlfriend Tanya, brother Shaun and his wife Nicole, plus others. I was too full for dessert, but Liam showed me his green Jello! Gotta love kids! Then we went down Fremont St. again, and saw all these characters: SONIC, Al Capone, Spongebob, and many others! We saw a Bon Jovi concert on the ceiling, ziplining (like the ones that were here for the Olympics), and lots of funny shirts. (baby onesie: "I'm What Happened in Vegas")

We saw a place called the Heart Attack Grill, where you can eat free if you weigh over 350 pounds. Since Brad weighs 359 pounds (he told us!), he said he'd be back the next day. (I asked him about it later, and Tanya said that they gave you a bib and utensils!) Since some people wanted to see a show which was at my hotel, I decided to go with them; I needed more of a break from my parents, y'see. We saw a show called DIVAS, which featured a lot of female impersonators / drag queens: Cher, Bette Midler, Joan Rivers, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Katy Perry, and more. It was quite enjoyable! Sandy thought that those couldn't possibly be men (but they were - as evidenced by the last segment where they all came out as men), while poor Nicole had to walk all the way from Circus Circus to Imperial Palace (a LONG walk!) since she missed the bus we were on by eight seconds, and those only came once every 15 minutes! Afterwards, Sandy wanted to gamble since she wouldn't sleep anyway because of insomnia. I think it was too hot to sleep! I went back to the hotel room at 1 AM, haha.


Friday, June 1: After the WyndMark presentation (credits for vacation?), we went to the Emperor Buffet in our hotel for lunch, but my parents made me take an escalator. Steph said that Lisa was REALLY stressed out because of her mom, but didn't want to upset her. Later, my mom had all these weird things to say, which are at the bottom of this email. We bumped into Shaun and the family at a bus stop after buying some shirts (I got one for me, one for you - which is an inverse of mine - and one each for Jon and Harmony) and souvenirs, and I played peek-a-boo with Liam. I went back to the hotel room since my mom wanted to go to the outlet malls, and I needed a break from my parents and the heat. (ice from the ice machine really helped!)

This is going to worry you, but please don't: I briefly thought of jumping from the 17th-floor balcony because of James - I guess I was / am more in love with him than I thought, but I'm just trying to NOT feel that way right now since it's inappropriate. (I did tell him that, and am not sure what he thought) The next morning, I just as briefly thought about cutting myself with my mom's little scissors that she brought along. The blades felt so cool against my skin... but again, I didn't. I was thinking that I wanted to see you and the baby, at least! You are a good reason to smile! :)

Dad and I had McDonalds for dinner: I loved the Hot and Spicy McChicken, for obvious reasons! These little black kids (Crystal / Bella / Lexie?) said hi to me and treated me like their new friend, haha. Maybe I *am* good with children to a certain extent! You know me and kids, anyway.


Saturday, June 2: My mom was really stressing me out in the morning, thinking that I didn't know how to soak things in the tub (maybe I temporarily FORGOT because of you?!), or thinking that I had to do certain things. Let's just say that while we were going through the casino at Harrah's (where I had to take the escalator) as a break from the 107-degree heat, I felt betrayed both by my parents and James, and friendless. I'm sure I made a GREAT first impression on my sister's friend Rachel's boyfriend Wade later on as I was telling her, Vivian, and Vivian's husband Gabe about exactly why I was stressed out and crying! I was worried that it was TMI for Gabe (the redrum part), but he's had a conversation with Steph, so he's used to our family.

The wedding itself at Joe's was small and to the point: we had steak, tuna, cheesecake, pie, and a bunch of other good stuff. I got to talk to Ross, Winnie, Jessica Lam, Jessica Marr, Alan, Tracy, Rachel, Wade, Gabe, Vivian S., Erin, Margaret, Mike, Denise, Karen Grace, and others about Alberta / fires / Ottawa / the baby / other stuff. I liked Steph and Lisa's vows: "if anyone hurts you, I'll beat them up and buy you ice cream - if *I* hurt you, I'll beat myself up before buying you ice cream!" Sandy has humor, too: "By the power invested in me by the Mad Hatter, the Wizard of Oz, and all the Elvises of the Las Vegas Strip, I pronounce you married!" When I went over to say hi to the kids, Sammy said he had a rock which cost a "thousand million dollars," while Liam gave me a high-five! Lucas got his beloved cheeseburger for lunch, at least! Ruth said the grandkids needed entertainment, haha.

Later, I elected to go to the Apple Store again after the wedding photos since I had to tell my online friends how I really thought about things. I missed my alone time, trust me! (I think you have an idea of how I feel) After that, I went to Toby Keith's bar in the evening at Harrah's by myself to meet up with whoever decided to go. Steph predicted that Alan would be face-down in a fountain then because it was also his birthday (which I told him later when they showed up), and her RCMP friends were surprised that his table had all her church friends since they were kinda rowdy at lunch! I got a couple of Budweisers plus plenty of water! Hugged Rachel a lot, talked a bunch to Lindsay / Heather / Andrea / MacGregor / other assorted cousins / Mike / Sandy, learned that Vivian and Gabe had checked out the slot machines, and rested a lot after dancing to cool rock tunes. You know my taste in music, haha! Rachel and I told Wade about how my dad used to make Rachel drink full glasses of milk even though she'd just found out that she was lactose-intolerant! ("Stop being fussy! Steph, pour your friend some milk!") Their friend Kate is also lactose-intolerant, yet never got the same treatment since Dad thought she was weak and her health would suffer! Wouldn't it have been the same thing for Rachel?! I mean, it WAS the family bathroom where she had to deal with the inevitable consequences... I guess Dad didn't care!


Sunday, June 3: My parents brought back some Panda Express food for me while I was watching FAMILY GUY / KING OF THE HILL / ARTHUR / LEVEL UP / THE REGULAR SHOW. Yup, the Cartoon Network was what did it for me on TV - I was tired of hearing about Obama and Romney, or even local Vegas news! (although I did watch DR. OZ and ELLEN once before ESPN) Later, I met my LJ friends Sheryll and her daughter Nyssa: they smoked in the casino before we went to see the flamingos, turtles, 400-pound fish, and doves in the habitat at the Flamingo Hotel. We talked about grates, Facebook, travelling, fears, and other things; it was pretty good! After that, I was ready to go home since I'd done everything I wanted to do in Vegas, and I wanted alone time by myself! However, I was there for a couple more days, and was determined to stick it out. We had FLAVORS buffet for dinner to use the free buffet tickets, and then used the free show tickets to see a LEGENDS show: Lady Gaga, Elvis, the Blues Brothers, Tina Turner, and more! Of course, my parents made me take escalators again, saying there was no choice: but I saw people in wheelchairs there, so how did THEY get up to Harrah's second floor?! My goodness.


Monday, June 4: I saw a display of cheap bling necklaces, so I got some for myself and other people in an attempt to cheer myself up. (you, Jeremy, Chrystal...) Then I found a quiet place to read for a few hours, which didn't go over well with my parents - guess I really wanted to be home to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted! Went to the Fremont St. Experience and the Main St. Station buffet for dinner again, where I apparently walked too fast for Mom's taste. Hey, I knew where I was going! Then we saw the NEW YORK hotel (Jelly Belly!), went on a tram, saw the EXCALIBUR hotel, saw the LUXOR, saw Mario / Luigi / Hello Kitty characters, and went back to our hotel all within four and a half hours! Of course, they made me take an escalator: then my mom thought that I'd magically LIKE them. NO! THAT IS NOT HOW THAT WORKS EVEN IF OTHERS HELP ME! We were on the bus, and I was sitting next to someone who wanted to get off the bus. So I moved to let him off. Mom saw this, and thought I was getting off the bus. NO! Anyone with two eyes could see that I was only moving TEMPORARILY.

Yes, she was concerned that I'd get lost or get off at the wrong stop for real, so I explained that to her. Unfortunately, she thought "I was LETTING HIM OFF!" was rude, and proceeded to say that she didn't care about me after giving me the silent treatment for ten minutes. I bet she thought I'd immediately beg for forgiveness. Honestly, if you're so stressed that your immediate reaction to someone raising their voice for emphasis - NOT NECESSARILY YELLING - is to think they're being rude and yelling.... yeah, no. I was like "Okay!" out loud. Ugh... the urge to kill her was rising! Parents!


Tuesday, June 5: After packing (I'd done it the day before to minimize stress) and leaving the luggage at the holding centre, we went to the Paradise Garden Buffet off Margaritaville for lunch. Next stop was the Forum, where I had to babysit Mom at the Apple Store: "You know how Hotmail works... You are the expert and know everything!" (never mind that I haven't used it in AGES!) Then we went to see the flamingos and other animals which I'd seen the other day with Sheryll and Nyssa. Later, we went to the Fashion Show Mall via the scenic route to avoid walking across the street; we had frozen yogurt (I had cheesecake flavor!) and look around at the expensive stuff! At the airport, we had Great Steak Philly cheesesteak sandwiches while Mom got even more stressed out, if that's even possible. She told me that she'd bought baby Ayler about 20 outfits at a baby store at the outlet mall (which impressed Harmony when I told her about it via FB), bought me four hats, some socks, and other things. I got two $10 teddy bears, one for me and one for baby - babies like soft cuddly things, so I didn't care if it was $3 more!

After the security screening / pat-down procedures at MacCarran airport, I swear I heard Dad call the female TSA agent a "f*cking whore" under his breath! At YVR, Dad agreed to drive me home afterwards. I was a bit confused when it came to the passport and customs machines, but got through it with help from an officer. When I finally got home, I checked my Trillian messages: white Eric wondered if I'd seen the baby Jesus, James wished me a safe trip (I didn't reply to that one since he didn't want to know what I'd say), and your messages about Vegas along with my friend Steve's email made me smile! Stayed up till about 4 AM, and went to sleep after unpacking.

Now, I'm a bit sick despite getting up at 6 PM, and out of it... I'm surprised I barely had the energy to go to Sears at the mall just now and buy some stuff which I needed! (I did laundry when I got home, and ran out of energy at 10:25 PM) Time to catch up on my screenshots album, then replay FINAL FANTASY V and IV in that order. That will keep me occupied while I try NOT thinking about what might have been with James, or what might have happened had I said what I was thinking before I left. *sigh* Shaun, Nicole, Heather, and Sandy have added me to Facebook so far. I also paid my phone bill since I got it in the mail this past week - yay for being responsible!


HILARIOUS MOM QUOTES:

Mom, on hats: "this Titan hat is better quality since it has a few holes to get your skin off!"
Mom, on Beyonce: "FIANC√ČE?! What sort of name is that?!"
Mom, on the word DORK: "What does it mean? I bought the shirt since it was pink... I know the word is bad!"
Mom, on borrowing a complete stranger's cellphone to hop on McDonald's wi-fi (which I had NO INTENTION of doing): "you can use your charm and say 'my darling, I will give you a wet kiss!"

Mom, on fast food: "You know, this Fashion Show Mall has a JFK!"
Me and Dad: "What?!"
Mom: "YOU KNOW. A Kentucky Fried Chicken!"
Dad: "Old woman, that's..."
Me, simultaneously: "Mom, you mean..."
Together: "KFC!!!!!"

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